those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
