What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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