he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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