afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
