Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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