i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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