Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
