What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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