can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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