when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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