Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize