Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your cock deserves a montage
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The uberlube is also flammable