All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??