I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.