His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time