Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.