Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
