Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
