ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
