did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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