She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
