You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
