...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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