with your own penis?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize