i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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