i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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