What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
