so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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