Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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