Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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