What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
