I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
