just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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