separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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