Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
