This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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