i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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