i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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