Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
