go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
