am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
