Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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