Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
