You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
