He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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