I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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