Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
