Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
