do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
