Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
