wat bout pragnant strippers??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
