I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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