now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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