I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How external is "for external use only"?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
