He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
