Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
