Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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