And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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