please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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