how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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