Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You can't special order awesome
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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