Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
