What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
