my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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