a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
