I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
