now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
