I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
