i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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