hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize