You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
